My little Troll. Oh how I love you

The day that at first could seem like the worst day of my life was 26th of april the year of 94. An awful day that was. As a child, and throughout my life till adulthood, I loved spending time alone in my room, pondering with my thoughts. Creating a fantasy world just as I would like it. But suddenly my fantasy world got invaded by a troll and I got tossed out of my own kingdom into the cruel world of humans. In the world I no longer was alone. I was now sharing my world with this troll.

Frightening, wasn't she? All the things I did to get her in trouble...

As she grew older she managed to get inn trouble all by herself. Toughest part of my life, as I can remember my life, was when she was at her worst and I was the one strong enough in our family to even care. And it made me angry. She made me angry. How can a girl I loved so much do this to me? To herself? No-one else saw. Not even when I showed her problems right to their faces. Only I could see that my precious little troll that I've slowly adjusted to was crying. Inside herself. She had found her own fantasy world that she was all alone in. And she had put up a higher wall than I did in my time, so no troll could get in. Not even me.

But my sister is strong. Stronger than anyone would think. Stronger that she looks. Stronger that you'll ever be. Stronger than you'll ever know. She got out of the hell she created for herself. She replaced it with love and acceptance. Both for herself and the people she's got around her. She was safe. Finally.

Prom last year, in a dress I made for her

But then..

Then the world as she knew it, as she had rebuilt from the hell she was in, trembled around her, threatening to dissolve into tiny, unrepairable pieces. You do not want to get the two pluses on a pregnancy test as a 16 year old girl just getting her life on the right place. Just as she was getting help with her psyche, anger issues and with her epilepsy. She knew, and we knew, that this was not a healthy body for a child to take form.

She was caught with her pants down. But yet again she was strong. Stronger than anyone would think. Stronger than she looks. Stronger than you'll ever be and ever know. She looked the challenge right in its face and said "Bring it!"

Eight months later (almost) she and her boyfriend, the father of my soon to be niece, moved together in their very own apartment, today (well... Yesterday technically). The whole family has helped them make it through. That is so much more than her mother got when she was in the same situation with me. She is not alone. And no matter how awful the hell around her may seem, we will all pinch in and help. I am no longer the only one who sees.

Mother and father of my soon to be niece.. No wait...

There we go!

Time has flown and my little troll is not so little anymore...

She has grown to be a beautiful young lady with a brain and a heart she uses more than most. She has become a glowing mother to be with the strength and wisdom that is needed to be a good one.

But.. You will always be my little troll. And you will always be welcome in my private fantasy world.

Love you

Shhh...

Shh.. Don't tell anyone...

See you tonight?

 

After 48 hours with no sleep, working two jobs and studying my butt off, this final exam might just get interesting...

If I'm lucky I can catch two hrs before ALL STARS customer night at Naughty Shadows. Me and my boss are throwing a small customers night with 3for2 sales and live models as you know 'em from our product pictures. I myself put the outfits together, so you better come at least say hello. Kongensgate 14, Oslo, from 6pm to 9pm, be there or be a twat, your choice.

See you tonight?

PVC and fundamentalism

It is 03.36 and I lie in bed, wearing my new pvc ankle boots, reading about fundamentalism for my final exams this friday and next tuesday. Who said you can't mix exams with pleasure?

Sun's adventure; Regret Pill

You are familiar with the regret pill? Also known as the morning after pill.

You know, the pill women take after unprotected, like Sheldon would say it, coitus.

Or for us common people; sexual intercourse.

Simpler?

Sex. Fuck. Shag. Bang. Riding the Devil to Hell and so forth.

My best friend Sun bought one two months ago. Remembering when she bought one several years ago she went to the desk at the pharmacy, waiting for the other customers to wonder someplace else than right up her butt and nose, but as they would never leave she had to speak her private business so they heard. Then they left. And the woman working there told Sun that those pills were out in the store, next to the painkillers. She mumbled a few unnecessary foul words about how unnecessary the whole situation was while thinking that years ago they kept those type of pills behind the desk.

Having that story in the back of our mind, we can proceed to the REAL story of today.

(I did not experience this. It is all made out of what Sun told me earlier today and I way tell you before the story begins, that my friend can be a bit.. dramatic at times.)

Yet again she had to buy one of those regret pills. And she brought her sister this time.

(You can see Sun's other hairstyles over the years HERE.)

She wandered around in the pharmacy store, looking for the pill, and then noticed a guy. A guy working at the pharmacy. A boy her age, cute one. Or as she put it: a lovely young boy my age.

I know Sun very well, and understand that this is code for "OMG if I did not have the cutest and most wonderful boyfriend ever, I'd hit that!"

So having that in mind, and having in mind what kind of men she likes I have two options on how he may have looked like... So bare with me as this might get a bit schizophrenic when I use two different guys portraying one. Actually.. thinking about it, I'll just make an alternate story further down. You SHOULD read it! ......See it.. Whatever.

Boy one looks like Axel from Kingdom Hearts, a gothic/alternative guy, has silver grey eyes with a touch of ice blue, and a voice soft as pink.

She freaked out, not wanting him to think she was a slut having coitus with guys she don't know all the time and then feed on regret pills. She was so embarrassed she struggled with the payment, and dropped her card. My God, this should've been videotaped!!!!


So to the alternate story:

As for you who do not know who Sheldon is, I pity you.

Bitten

Before I could even grasp his presence he was right behind me.

I could feel his breath against my neck.

Giving me chills down my spine.

I felt his hand caressing my hair.

How his fingers tightened around it.

How he pulled it.

Making me face the stars above us.

I could only imagine what would happen next.

I was frightened, yet exited.

I knew it was going to hurt.

But the pain is nothing to the pleasure.

I closed my eyes as his lips touched my skin.

Shivering by the thought of how perfect this moment was.

His teeth sunk in my skin.

In my flesh.

I knew he'd stop if I told him to.

(true story by Luna Ciara)

You know the saying "Oh you're so cute I could just eat you up!"? Well, my boyfriend takes sayings like that literally. Sometimes it feels like he really is going to rip the flesh of my bones and swallow it. He once said he would too. So if I wake up one morning and a chunk of my thigh is missing I know what's happened and who's to blame. I do wonder how I taste. Or human meat in general. Maybe I should bite him back some day and find out. Or maybe I once again have watched too much Walking dead - getting all zombie in my head.

Sot

My sister's cat, Sot. Taken and edited by me.

11.11.11

The eleventh of eleventh of eleventh. How cool is that?

I haven't really paid any attention to whether there were judgement-day predictions or anything, but I guess none of them were true. I mean. I feel pretty much alive, and none of the persons I've met so far is a zombie. Perhaps I've watched too much Walking Dead lately.

The freak I am, I do believe in energies. The paranormal. And numerology is one of my interests. It is of pretty low priority, but it's still there. It counts!
11 is a master number, so I got a bit exited for today. Especially knowing 11 is the master number for psychic abilities and intuition. Not to mention it also were full moon last night.
So I pulled myself together and cleaned my room so I could play with the energies. C'mon, both full moon AND master number date? And 11.11.11 even adds up to 33, which is also a master number, meaning "the great teacher".

I took a small astral journey, just to maintain the ability. And then I played a bit with my Tarot. The 6 month special. Pretty accurate really, but it usually is when I do it. I know you're not supposed to lay Tarot for your self. I know my hopes for what comes can make the cards appear the way I want. And I know that I'm not supposed to know my own death, if I were to be that unlucky and see it in my cards. But you know. Gotta practise the skill, right?

Thinking I'm going to use the rest of the date practising psi-balls. Have never done it before, but guessing today is the best day to start.

Look at my beautiful cloth, owl-shrine, sun/moon incense-holder, silver candle-holders my mother inherited from my great grandma, st. Brigids cross woven in Ireland, and of course my beloved Shadowscape Tarot. I also use Crowley's, they've worked really well with me. But Shadowscape is really more my personality and soul. Though they tend to play with my mind. One time I asked "who is my guiders?" and they would come up with answers like "the ones who guide you" and similar answers.

That is an old picture though, taken with my phone.

So how were your 11.11.11?

You know you're sick of all your music when....

You know you're sick of all your music when you just open Spotify and search "fish".

First band up were Scooter with "how big is the fish". Sucked. Bigtime. Come on, really??
Second up was a country-song about a girl who loves to fish.

In the middle of (ed. beginning of) the second song I changed my search from "fish" to "agony". Just loads of crap here too.

Now YOU give me some food for my ears. Give me some eargasms.

Worship the Sun

The sun has been worshipped since beginning of humanity (more or less). Worshipped for the powerful god-like light, the life it provides anything the light touches. It is the source of all life, and is to many ancient cultures seen as THE mightiest god.

My Sun has too been worshipped for as long as she has lived. Not always by all, but always by many. She has been admired for her distinct and unique beauty, for her wonderful being and for her amazing personality. People has gone mad by her beauty, has crossed lines that shouldn't be crossed just to be near her. People have commented her with admiration in their voice and stars in their eyes for every move she's made, both directly and not within her reach. She is like the ultimate goddess in men's eyes, and a powerful light in women's. She is the light of life to those lucky enough to get near, and unreachable, untouchable to the misfortune others. She is Chimera. The one and only. My best friend. The better half of me. It is like I've said for years; The Moon needs the Sun to glow. Without the sunlight the Moon is grey. Cold. With no light. I shine merely as an reflection of her light, so today, on her 22nd birthday, I'm glowing as never before. I'm proud. And full of love for this incredible woman. May she shine forever.

But most of all she is worshipped by me.

Love you always <3