Music and tea can mend almost anything

I'm the daughter of a musician. I grew up with a studio right next to my bedroom, and had music around me every second of every day, and often every night. When you grow up like that you begin to appreciate silence. Therefore I'm not like everybody else who seem to be addicted to listening to music. I like music, love listening to it and do it often, especially when traveling, but like it quiet too, and don't listen to music half as much as I believe others do. But this week I've been listening almost nonstop. I think it is a mix of listening to words that express my feelings better than I do myself and the comfort I recognize from my safe childhood.

I noticed how the songs changed as I changed. From the most depressive songs to bitter songs to songs about rising up and gain strength. So I guess I just wanted to share some of the songs I've been listening to, for you to perhaps get better insight in how I've been feeling, and how I'm feeling now.

This is a long list though, but it also portrays how diverse my taste of music is.



The first section is from the list of music I made the first days as I was just crying nonstop. I could begin to cry everywhere and in every situation. And to me who never cries in front of people, and barely cry alone, this was big.



This is how I felt about the guy. Like everything he said was a lie, and I felt stupid for ever believing he'd liked me.




I was torn between deleting him from my life and give him one more chance. This was used in the moments I just wanted last weekend to be a bad dream.




This is just... so accurate.




This song was to myself. To just.. keep on going.




I added this song because I felt that my best friend, who is called Sun, had killed me.




This too was a song for me to remind myself that it will be a long way to happiness, but I will get there.




This too is just.. accurate.




Couldn't find a lyric video, and this was the only video that wasn't a homemade cover. But the message is still there. Again it had something to do with Sun, and the need for me to just walk away. Many times my thoughts entered the sort of suicidal area, without actually consider that option. There is too much strength in me to even consider that.




I listened to this to remember to feel the pain so I won't sink down in apathy like I tend to do when life is just too hard to handle.




Accurate.. Just... so accurate.




I kinda get tired from writing this, but again very accurate to both feelings and what happened.




This is about my friend. The way she came into my life, portraying herself as an angel, pure without flaws. I often think of the small smile as she told me what she did that night. "The smile when you tore me apart". And as the song say "The world may have failed you, it doesn't give the reason why. You could have chosen a different path".




I listened to this song when all I wanted is for her to just fight for our friendship. She hasn't really done much to keep the friendship alive, I was hoping she'd do something now. Also it reminded me to just get by, breath by breath.




Exactly my thoughts the time I was just angry.




For all the confusion when everyone was lying.




I'm terrible at showing when I'm in pain, but this time I've been fairy open about it. This song is not that relevant to what's happened, I just liked listening to it.



After a few days I went from unbearable grief and hysterically crying to angry and bitter. And thus my music of choice changed.



When I think of how my friend betrayed me in the absolute worst way and yet have done nothing to even show remorse.




Haha as the title say, self therapy. (couldn't find one with decent english grammar, sadly)



There was no lyric vid for this, but you get it, right?



And then, today I've gone over to more strengthening songs like:



There is just no song greater than this in situations like these.




I'm unbreakable. I am titanium.



I know this really isn't about anything near situation, but most of the song can be converted to fit. And the chorus really strengthen me, telling me to stand strong.



It has been a ride, mentally, emotionally, musically. I've been going through radical changes, hopefully for the better. Hopefully my music will be all about love and joy once again.




This is just a great summary of all of this!

I love music.
Almost as much as I love cats and tea.